About 4 weeks ago I was feeling anxious, I felt I was losing that basic essence of excitement about life that I had found in Thailand. I started to write a short and simple reminder to myself to just enjoy life. I never finished it.
Twenty-three days ago, I was feeling a lot of anxiety over my decision to go freelance and re-brand myself as a Digital Strategist. I was excited because things had finally clicked. It felt right and I had a plan, but I was also afraid.
“I’m embarking on a very exciting chapter in my life and it scares the shit out of me. The thought of putting myself out there in a big way and failing, scares the shit out of me. The idea of completely crashing and burning, scares the shit out of me. It keeps me wake at night and makes me doubt myself.”
Before I let the fear take the lead in my life and make me hesitate, I knew I needed to re-focus myself on enjoying the journey of where I was going. I needed to remind myself to enjoy it all, the challenge, the creation, the hard work and the unknowing. Not just the success.
I learned last year that nothing in life is guaranteed. Anything can happen in the next moment and you don’t have that much control over preventing bad things from happening. Fear of maybe something bad happening is futile. Something bad is going to happen and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, so it’s important to enjoy the moment you are in right now.
A few days after I wrote about my feelings of anxiety, I got my first freelance job. And it’s been great. I am doing work that is interesting and challenging, and a step in the direction I want to go. I have a routine, I have co-workers and I’m downtown again.
Looking back, I realize that I got exactly what I wanted because I didn’t let myself become paralyzed by fear. I embraced my feelings of fear, worked through the anxiety and continued to pursue my goals and enjoy the moment. Because anything can happen so you may as well enjoy every moment you’ve got.