This jet lag is awful. I’ve never felt so physically & mentally exhausted. The worst is the wave of exhaustion that flows in out of nowhere. I’ll be going about my day-to-day life & than bam! I am exhausted & just want to sleep. Why? “Oh yea it’s 3 am in Thailand right now, the place I’ve been living for a month. No wonder I’m feeling weird.” But, I’m sleeping better & now it is time to start telling you about my Thailand adventure. I’m going to begin by telling you why I went in the first place.
Why I Went to Thailand
I met a lot of different people in Thailand & I was always curious to know what motivated the solo, long-term travellers. A common theme emerged – a major life change had motivated us to pack-up a backpack & travel through Thailand for a month or more.
After 2016 (getting laid off, losing my self-confidence, losing my father & becoming depressed), Thailand was my get away from my life rut & finding myself trip. I had always wanted to go to Thailand, but there was always a reason not to – I had to work, I didn’t have enough money, I had no one to go with. It took the passing of my father to wake me up to how short life is & that I really needed to just DO the things I wanted to do.
In January, I finally found the courage to book my plane tickets & go on my first solo backpacking trip. I was going to visit the historic sites of Thailand I’ve always dreamed about, live on one of their Island Beaches, swim at in its beautiful turquoise blue waters & experience a different culture!
I was scared & nervous that I would have a horrible time, but, I needed to get away from the pressures of my life, to give myself time to think & feel. I also knew this was THE moment in my life to do this & that doing this would be the best thing I ever did.
On Being Depressed
It took 2 weeks into my trip for me to realized that I had been depressed before I left.
I am not going to say that the cure for depression is to run away from your problems or to travel. But, taking myself out of my day-to-day life & putting myself into a new situation that forced me to get out of my comfort zone & confront my fears head on, helped me to overcome my depression.
I spent so much time living in the moment & doing things that I didn’t have time to focus on my fears & anxieties. I had to figure out how to get myself around the country, I had to find places to stay, I had to open myself up to strangers & make friends.
Eventually, I didn’t feel scared or anxious about the things I had to do when I got back home. Instead I started to feel excited about going back to Toronto & tackling the challenge of putting a new life together for myself.
Thailand’s combination of history, Buddhism & breathtaking natural beauty, allowed me to find peace within myself. I finally accepted that shitty things had happened to me in the past few years, that I had some regrets, but I needed to accept it & move on.
And I found my sparkle & became the Kinga I loved being:
- The one that sees the world with child eyed wonder.
- The one who makes friends easily.
- The one who draws men with a smile & flirts shamelessly.
- The one who takes risk.
- The one who says “yes” to adventure.
- The one who sketches.
- The one who smiles.
That’s Why I Went to Thailand
Sometimes you get lost in the daily grind & “hustle”. You stop living in the moment & only focus on getting to the next goal post.
Then one day you wake up & realize you have no idea why you are doing it anymore. You start to feel something is missing .. but, you are too tiered & busy to really figure out what.
Then something happens that shakes your world. You break up with your significant other. You lose someone close to you. You lose your job. Whatever it is, it has you questioning everything & you find yourself in a state of crisis.
You world has been upended & things aren’t great, but maybe you have an opportunity to do something positive for yourself. What do you do? You may panic & find yourself scared at the thought of leaping into this great unknown of newness. Yes, something horrible could happen .. but, something amazing could happen too.
So you take the plunge into the unknown & do something slightly crazy & unconventional. You go to Thailand for a month & it turns out to be the best thing you ever did, because you found your kick-ass self & embraced living in the moment.